The Art of Avoidence |House|

[Dr. Gregory House]

"It was either a deadly, infectious disease, or fire alarm. I figured you just wanted the clinic empty, not the whole hospital," House shrugged, like it didn't make much of a difference to him. He was just enjoying the look on Cuddy's face, memorizing it for posterity. He tapped his cane on the floor several times as he listened to Cuddy mock apologize for not having his money. He was just appreciating the watching of her hands running up and down her skirt, before smirking, "that's okay, you can owe me one."

At her ultimatum, he nearly didn't hold back his chuckle. You're thinking I even want to leave at this point. "What makes you think I want to leave?" He shrugged negligently, "it's not as if you could stop me anyway."

[Dr. Lisa Cuddy]

Ah. If that was the case, it was definitely better to have some random disease thrown out than to have every fire truck in the district out here for a false alarm. "Good point," Cuddy nodded slightly in hesitant agreement. Of course, she noticed exactly where his eyes were directed at the moment. "Owe you one? I think I'd rather go get my wallet." Was that all she could think of to say? Maybe she just didn't want to know what else House had up his sleeve.

At his next remark, she had to feel surprised. Just a second ago, he was perfectly ready to walk out casually, and now he didn't? Being unable to think of anything else to say at this point, she called him out on it. "One minute you're ready to leave, and the minute you realize I'm not paying you, you decide to stay?" She couldn't argue with his last point, so she leaned casually against the counter and crossed her arms again, tightly.

[Dr. Gregory House]

"I have several good points in my repertoire," House nodded, appreciating that Cuddy could see his point. She had always been sensible. Same with being faced with the choice of giving money now or owing a favour, Cuddy was going to give him the money. Which he didn't really care about. It was twenty dollars. Might get him a drink or two. He'd rather have the favour, but Cuddy was too smart to fall into that trap.

"Darn!" he snapped his fingers, "could've used that call a friend lifeline. Oh well, easy come, easy go." Yup, he was broken up about it. Really.

House shrugged at Cuddy's incredulous question, "I like being unpredictable. Need to change things up now and then, or else my powers will grow stagnant."

[Dr. Lisa Cuddy]

Oh yeah. She could never forget some of his finer "points". Though a few of them that hurt at the time still did, most had been forgotten over time. "You obviously don't want me to go get my wallet. You would have made your way over there, forcing me to follow, long ago if it were otherwise," she observed, sensing somehow that something was off with one of them. Which one, she wasn't sure. But she was sure as hell determined to find out. She hoped it was him; she did have a bet to win with Wilson, after all.

Unpredictable? Like she would buy that right off. "Fine. Do it again. Do something unpredictable," Cuddy challenged. "I'll bet you back that twenty that you couldn't do two totally spontaneous things in a row." She had no idea why she had done it; perhaps it was just to keep from having to pay up. Whatever...it was all up to him now.

[Dr. Gregory House]

Oh, House thought, it is on!

He arched an eyebrow, "unpredictable and spontaneous. You mean, like this?" House set the cane on the nurses' desk, before turning to her in one fluid move. His hands found her hip and wrapped around her shoulders. A few insistent pressures on her body had her swooning in his arms as he laid a firm kiss on her lips. He wasn't sure, but he thought paperwork might have gone flying. Also, he really couldn't hold this pose for too long as his leg was starting to scream at him.

Setting her upright, he casually hooked his fingers around his cane and subtly leaned on it again, giving her the 'cat that ate the canary' smile.

"Now you owe me forty."

[Dr. Lisa Cuddy]

Uh oh....she didn't like that look. She didn't have time to respond before everything turned upside down. Even after it was all over, she was still speechless. Finally, words started to form once again. "If that was why you wanted the clinic cleared," she started, then decided now was as good a time as any for the suggestion that kept coming back, "we could have found an empty exam room..." Almost against her better judgment, she returned his smile.

Realizing that if this kept up, she was going to owe House more than Wilson was going to owe her...or vice-versa. Since she only had the forty she'd bet Wilson earlier, if she paid up now, and Wilson ended up being right, she wouldn't be able to pay. "All right." Knowing she wasn't going to be allowed to escape to her office, she pulled the two twenties from the folded-up sleeve of her shirt. She had lied about the money, and she was sure she would never be allowed to live it down.

[Dr. Gregory House]

House arched an eyebrow, "an empty exam room? You want to play Doctors? We could examine each other. Take each others' vitals. Prescribe the cure." He examined his nails, "why Cuddy," he said in a parody of his earlier outburst, "I didn't know you had feelings for me. What ever should we do?"

He hoped this wouldn't end up awkward. He already had troubles with his relationship with Wilson, trying to fix whatever was broken. He knew what was broken, but couldn't acknowledge it just yet; maybe never. Cuddy was going toward her own life now. Putting him in it more than he already was might cause a messy breakdown of their relationship and more screaming and crying he was willing to deal with.

He watched as Cuddy pulled out the money from her sleeve, and trying to shake their earlier awkward moment, proceeded with the dramatics. His eyes widened and he mock gasped, "I knew you were a stripper! You must have bills folded in your underwear. Who needs a purse? Shake that money maker!"

[Dr. Lisa Cuddy]

The only thing wrong here, Cuddy realized a moment later, was that she had no idea whether or not House was being serious about her suggestion. "Yes. I can just see it now...me doing everything and you avoiding your responsibilities," She hoped he'd be able to see the oh-so-subtle innuendo in that comment. As for any 'feelings' either of them had, it was obvious neither would admit to them any time soon. Was it just her imagination, or had their earlier back-and-forth deteriorated into flirting? 'No....it can't be...it would be way too weird...' she told herself as she mentally shook her head to clear the insane image that thought presented.

At the onset of drama, Cuddy resisted the urge to roll her eyes. "Yes. Dean of Medicine by day, Nurse Stripper by night," she remarked dryly. She didn't know what Wilson's problem was.....there was very clearly nothing wrong with House. As for the rest of the 'stripper' commentary, "Only in your fantasies, House." No..this would never change.

[Dr. Gregory House]

House saw right through that statement, and took it one place further. A brief image of Cuddy doing the pole dance on the bus surfaced, which then morphed to activities in bed. Cuddy doing all the work. With his leg, he couldn't be very physical in bed. Pain, quite often, turned him off. His hand self consciously rubbed his scarred thigh. There was only one thing he could do. Bite back.

"What? You don't like being on top of things?" House snarked back, "I painted you all wrong, Cuddy! I never imagined you as a bottom gal. Clearly, I need to rework my fantasies."

[Dr. Lisa Cuddy]

Though she tried very hard to ignore House's reaction to her innuendo, she couldn't help but wonder what he was thinking. The man was a master at hiding his thoughts if he wanted to. Much as she enjoyed this conversation, if it kept going like this, there would be a crowd of people trying to see through the glass doors at them. She wasn't entirely sure what that would do for the reputation of the hospital.

"I never said that." Cuddy tilted her head as she regarded her subordinate. "Though, it would be nice to just lie down and do nothing sometimes," she smirked. Oh, there were so many things wrong with that statement. "Fortunately, most of the guys I've dated have found my 'desperate, administrative need' a turn-on," she added as a sort-of afterthought, turning his exact words from a conversation years previously back on him.

[Dr. Gregory House]

House tapped the cane on the ground a couple of times, before whirling on his foot. "Nice to know," he cleared his throat, changing the subject, "I hear you just filled the department head of cardiology position. Ironic that the last one died of a massive cardiac arrest," he said, sardonic. He put his hand on the glass door, preparing to push out. He had been aiming to go home, watch the L-word on his Tivo, get drunk and pass out somewhere in his apartment. The usual.

He was a little curious about the really hot female doctor who started the cardiology department head job that morning. She had accosted him and flirted with him randomly. Tomorrow was looking to be more interesting. If nothing else, he could have fun finding some black-mail material on the new department head.

[Dr. Lisa Cuddy]

Okay. That wasn't supposed to happen. Cuddy wasn't sure what she had wanted to happen, but that hadn't been it. "Yes....what's your point?" she asked. This was definitely strange. Then, a sudden thought struck her. Maybe...no. It couldn't be. It was not possible. "Wilson was right." Cuddy's eyebrows shot up as she spoke. If that didn't get his attention back, she had no idea what would. Stalking after him, she placed herself between him and the door.

"You're acting a lot stranger than usual." There could only be so many explanations, so she just started listing the ones that seemed most likely. "Did you hit your head again? Up your dosage? Switch to decaf?" Yeah, the last one was just slightly more unlikely than the first two, but at this point, anything was possible.

[Dr. Gregory House]

"Wilson was right about what?" House drawled, "'cause if this is about the girl scout incident, then I have to say that it was all Kutner's fault." Kutner was too enthusiastic for his own good sometimes, but he at least jumped when he called. Very amusing for House.

House arched an eyebrow, "are you... worried about me? Seriously Cuddy, your maternal feelings are starting to leak everywhere like radiator fluid." Which reminded him, he needed to check his bike out. It had been making an odd noise recently. He stared into Cuddy's big brown eyes, possibly for too long. The moment stretched as he leaned ever so closer.

"Cuddy. There is a door behind you. You're kind of in the way; like you're kind of my boss, but really you can barely control me like a large doberman on a leash. I may be a cripple, but I'm not afraid to use this cane."

[Dr. Lisa Cuddy]

Cuddy bit her lip. Perhaps she shouldn't have said that, but it was out now and there was nothing she could do about it. Now this raised an interesting question. Had he known earlier what she and Wilson had spoken about? Or had he just been playing off of her? Was it entirely possible he didn't know about the bet and its terms? "About...wait....what girl scout incident?" Cuddy was miraculously saved from explaining by House's (possibly sarcastic and completely imaginary) slip.

Narrowing her eyes only slightly, she gave him her most challenging gaze. "What would you do if I said I was worried? I have to channel my 'maternal feelings' into something, and you're the most childish doctor in the entire building." She realized belatedly that that was probably not the most productive thing to say at this point, but there was no turning back, no way she was saying sorry.

"You compare yourself to a doberman?" she asked disbelievingly. "I always pictured you as a chihuahua...irritatingly annoying, but making up for it in oddly endearing loyalty." She allowed a small smile to show that she meant that with as much caring as possible. She wasn't sure if it was just to irritate him, or if it was going somewhere. She also didn't care which way it went at this point; whenever it was 'going somewhere' between them, something always happened to stop the train.

[Dr. Gregory House]

"Ah, it never happened," House quickly amended, "and don't change the subject. What was Wilson right about? It's got to be something to do with me, since I'm the only variable in the room that could have caused your verbal diarrhea."

He arched his brow about her worrying about him. It was nothing new. She had to protect the assets of the hospital, and House, unfortunately, was an asset which she had to protect. He grinned. He always tried to be as much of a pain in her ass as possible, so he'd let the childish comment go by.

"A doberman only in size and strength and ability to kick your... uh... yeah, I said it, your ass. Which, by the way, have you been working out more than usual? 'Cause that is tight.

"And I'm not a chihuahua," he added sourly.